Can we talk about cricketer James Faulkner's revolting 'boyfriend' post?
Yesterday, Australian cricketer James Faulkner took to Instagram where he seemingly "came out of the closet." In the post, the 29-year-old had claimed to be enjoying his birthday dinner with his mother and his 'boyfriend'. Fans celebrated the cricketer for having taken the opportunity to come out. However, Faulkner later clarified that he is "not gay". Here's why that is problematic.
'I am not gay,' Faulkner later clarified
Faulkner had captioned yesterday's post as, "Birthday dinner with the boyfriend @robjubbstaand my mother @roslyn_carol_faulkner #togetherfor5years." However, in another post today, Faulkner addressed the "misunderstanding," saying, "I am not gay." He added, "[Rob Jubb] is just a great friend. Last night marked five years of being house mates!" Faulker even updated the previous post to add the words "best mate".
'Boyfriend' does not, in any circumstance, means 'boy-space-friend'
There's cultural context to the term 'boyfriend' and it's not the same as the usage of 'girlfriend' - which is also wrong and straight women need to just stop. 'Boyfriend' has an unquestionable romantic and/or sexual connotation to it. It's rooted in its absence of usage in male friendships, driven by a homophobic repulsiveness to be mistaken for a same-sex couple.
Cishet men can't just fashion an oppressed sexual identity
Faulkner must have known the implications of using "boyfriend" with "#togetherfor5years." For heterosexuals, to fashion an oppressed sexual identity for fun is insensitive. It trivializes issues faced by a community, that's marginalized, brutalized, bullied, and raped. Hence, cis-heterosexual men don't have a right to poke fun in this manner simply because they don't share a queer person's lived experience.
'Boyfriend' is not political, but it has a connotation attached
It's important to understand that the word is not political, but the connotation attached to it makes it so. When a queer man calls someone their 'boyfriend', it's out of necessity. But, it's also rebellion against the oppressive structure that seeks to erase queer existence. One must rethink why they're choosing to identify with a term that belongs to someone of lesser privilege.
Heterosexuals should stop appropriating terms that validate queer existence
Straight people need to stop appropriating terms, that validate queer existence because it's "funny" or "trendy" or "progressive". Sure! It's great that you're secure enough in your male friendships to call each other 'boyfriend', but as straight men, you should know that it's inappropriate to use that term until the prevalent social, political and economic climate allows the LGBTQ+ community to exist as equals.
