Shifting perspectives: Divorce parties gain momentum, inspired by Mauritanian women
When you are in the midst of a divorce, it is often hard to see a way back to happiness. The idea of starting from scratch can be intimidating and overwhelming. However, in a fascinating departure from tradition, Mauritanian women are joyfully celebrating their divorces. They honor the occasion with lively parties and delightful dinners held in their name.
Divorced women are welcomed with open arms
After the divorce, the Mauritanian woman goes back to her family with her children. Her mother and sisters warmly welcome her with a joyful sound called Zaghrouta, a melodic vocal expression, accompanied by a rapid back-and-forth movement of the tongue. Once she's settled, they engage in a lively conversation, pointing out her ex-husband's flaws and even teasing him for not realizing what he lost.
Her friends arrange the party
According to a TRT World report, the woman's friends arrange a joyous party, filled with music and the presence of talented poets. They shower her with admiration for her beauty and remarkable qualities. Their heartfelt poems fluctuate in intensity, building up to a captivating climax as they depict the countless suitors eagerly waiting in line to ask for her hand.
A phoenix rising from the ashes
In her view, she regains her self-respect and tranquility. A new life starts for her, free from shame, judgment, or reminders of a failed relationship. Society accepts her without criticism or judgment. When it's all over, she becomes one of the unmarried women, standing on equal ground with others, leaving behind the past and its burdens, just like a phoenix rises from the ashes.
A bachelor woos the woman to make her man jealous
There's another interesting tradition called Tahrish in Mauritania, where a bachelor arranges a special party to help the woman win back her husband's affection by making him jealous and reconsider his decision. The young man organizing the celebration pretends to be deeply in love with her. He flirts, compliments her on her wonderful qualities, and criticizes her husband for his foolishness and bad luck.
Mauritanian men perceive divorced women as mature and experienced
Men view divorced women as more mature, experienced, and understanding. Unmarried women are seen as narcissistic. Interestingly, divorced men face challenges in remarrying unless they are financially stable. Women prefer bachelors over divorced men. This preference stems from the belief that multiple divorces indicate a lack of responsibility, patience, and determination. Marriage, seen as a social contract, demands perseverance and dedication from their perspective.
The trend is catching up in India too, somewhat
The trend of celebrating divorce is also gaining popularity in India. While the stigma against divorced women persists, there is a noticeable shift in mindset that challenges societal expectations regarding remarriage. Despite the ongoing prejudice, more people are questioning and reshaping these expectations. This shift reflects a courageous movement toward embracing personal choices and breaking free from the traditional constraints of patriarchy.
A relationship expert recounts an interesting story
Nisha Jamvwal, a relationship expert, social activist, and author, shared an interesting encounter. When she met a friend who had recently gotten divorced, her immediate reaction was, "Oh I am so sorry to hear this, what happened." However, to her surprise, her friend responded with joy and excitement. The friend expressed delight and happiness for coming out of a toxic relationship.
Divorce no longer carries a stigma
"Women all over the world and in India are happy to try new relationships, be in charge of their own finances and be free to make their own choices without being told what and how to conduct their lives," says the relationship expert.
Women are perceiving marriage as a 'yoke of responsibilities'
Jamvwal says that women are increasingly perceiving marriage as a "yoke of responsibilities." "They follow the traditional path, getting married and joining a family, only to discover that it constricts their dreams and ambitions. Consequently, they choose to walk away from marriage not due to a lack of commitment but because they have realized that there is more to life than marriage," she opines.
