Here's how phubbing affects relationships and the mind
Phubbing may not be a part of your daily vocabulary but it is certainly a part of your everyday life. For the uninitiated, it is the act of snubbing someone you're in a conversation with in person in favor of your phone. Let's know more about this phenomenon because chances are, you may still be phubbing the person next to you while reading this!
You are a phubber if you relate to the following things below
You carry out two conversations concurrently - one in person and one on your phone. Additionally, you may even use your phone during social gatherings and stay glued to your screen all the time. Also, you can't get through meals without your phone.
Phubbing makes you feel less connected to the present moment
Phubbing was first coined in 2012 to describe the growing phenomenon of people ignoring their friends or family by scrolling through their phones. Several studies have shown that this makes face-to-face conversations less meaningful, leaving both parties less connected to the moment. While the behavior may not be a big deal to some, researchers reveal its negative impact on the mind and relationships.
Phubees feel their belongingness and self-esteem threatened and disrespected
As per a study conducted in 2018, phubbing was found to threaten four fundamental human needs including control, belongingness, self-esteem, and meaningful existence. People who were phubbed felt rejected, neglected, and ostracized. This, in turn, leads to phubbed people filling the void by engaging in their phones, kick-starting an endless vicious circle of phubbing. Additionally, quality conversations and interest levels hit the nadir.
Even phubbers are affected by this phenomenon
Research conducted in 2018 found that people who used their phones while eating with friends or family revealed that they relished their meals less and felt distracted. People who use phones at the table are considered impolite and less attentive to what's going on around them in the present. Another study concluded that texting during conversations made the experience less satisfying, even for phubbers.
How phubbing is a silent killer in relationships
Constantly checking your phone can kill conversations, distort your attention levels, lower your interest levels in the present moment, and can lead to your partner feeling excluded. As per a 2016 study, phubbing can breed dissatisfaction and aggravate relationship-associated anxiety among phubees. They may even go through doubts or thoughts of being cheated on, sabotaging peace and stability in a romantic connection.
Here's how you can stop phubbing and stay present
Try to make your meals a no-phone zone. When it's time to eat, keep your gadgets away. If a distant buzz of notifications still causes distraction, it is better to put your phone on silent or 'Do Not Disturb'. During conversations, keep your phone in your drawer or wardrobe to avoid checking on it time and again. Challenge yourself to a prize for accomplishments.
Here's how you can help someone else stop phubbing
Share with them how neglected you have been feeling with their habit of phubbing and educate them on how it should be stopped. Be sympathetic and help them overcome it by setting mutual rules like not bringing phones to the dinner table.
