Here's how to deal with toxic family members
We are more aware of mental health issues than ever, and yet we fail to get out of certain circumstances we clearly identify as toxic for us. While it may be easier to shun an acquaintance, it is painfully difficult to escape toxicity within the family. How do we deal with such people? Do we fix them, avoid them, or sever ties with them?
How to identify a toxic person
"When you feel exhausted, sleepy, and down around a person, they are toxic." "A toxic person will find fault with everything you do, criticize you, blame you for everything that goes wrong in their life, complain about issues to you continually, and is often the harbinger of all bad boding and unhappy happenings," explains relationship expert Nisha JamVwal.
How to remain unaffected by them
"When dealing with toxic people, create boundaries and minimize interaction." "The moment the tirades, unending advice, or gaslighting starts, one must immediately escape the scene and find cover." "Another way of dealing with them is to never seek advice and approval from them. Delink yourself from the natural desire to ask for advice especially if the toxic member is a parent," suggests JamVwal.
How to avoid a toxic family member
"To avoid a toxic family member always keep a few private nooks in your house which are inaccessible to them - even if it's a Harry Potter-like hideaway under the staircase," says JamVwal. Remember the Dementors from Harry Potter? They aren't entirely fictitious, there are Dementors in the shape of humans who will suck out the joy from your life! Keep away from them.
Seek counselling when you need help
"Although you might want to cut ties with such family members it is not always a feasible option. The vicious cycle of guilt, blame, and bullying by a toxic family member is something that many of us face." "Sometimes toxic relatives try to live your life through you, to fulfill their aspirations." "Seeking counseling and surrounding yourself with positive people can help," feels JamVwal.
Boundaries are of utmost importance when dealing with toxic people
"One must build virtual boundaries when living under the same roof with toxic people. For example, delineate a boundary and inform the person straight away to not give advice unless you seek it," suggests JamVwal. In the case of a distant relative, you can estrange yourself from them, and communicate through mediators when needed, or even live separately if you have the financial means.
