Victim mentality: 5 powerful tips to deal with it
People with a victim mentality might have suffered through trauma or hard times and to recover, they developed an unhealthy coping mechanism. Victim mentality might lead one to develop a negative view of life where they feel they aren't in control of their life. If you are coping with the same, continue reading to gain a perspective on how to deal with it.
Understanding the phenomenon
People who always blame others or situations for adverse events in their lives have a victim mentality. They always blame someone else for what happened to them. Since they don't believe anything is their fault, they have barely any sense of responsibility for their lives, things just happen to them. Even when someone offers solutions, they come up with reasons why they won't work.
The roots of victim mentality
"Victim mentality stems out of the maladaptive coping strategies evolved in childhood in response to aversive experiences. It develops over time, much like a habit, from one particular adverse experience to almost all unfavorable occurrences," explains Jaipur-based trainee psychologist Nikita Singhani.
Celebrate your achievements
Stop believing that there are big or small wins, every win is a win. The more you celebrate your wins, the more you strengthen your confidence. And with more confidence, there is less space for victimhood. That is because you realize you are the only person in charge of your life. Practice self-compassion - treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.
Deal with negative emotions
Negative emotions like anger, envy, and jealousy may often force you to feel there is nothing you can do to control it. Acknowledge your negative emotions - because if left unchecked, they can evolve into resentment, stress, and irritational behaviors. Remind yourself that people typically act in their own self-interest. Take charge of the situation and avoid taking their actions personally.
Practice gratitude
Victim mentality stems from a sense of insufficiency. Remember, it is a state of mind and you have the power to change it. When you feel something is missing in life, it is easy to get stuck in a downward spiral of self-pity. Acknowledge your thoughts and focus on the positive aspects of your life. Practicing gratitude often brings more positivity.
Stay aware of beliefs that limit you
Our life experiences and memories shape our outlook on life and internal thoughts. Limiting beliefs and thoughts can lead you to commit self-sabotaging actions. Make yourself aware of your thoughts, and their origins and focus on stopping them. Remember, it is you who has the power to transform your limiting beliefs into self-confidence. You have the power to change your narrative.
Walk away
Walk away at the first instance if you find yourself getting stuck in a negative situation. Or, if you find yourself in situations where you are surrounded by negativities and find it impossible to just walk away then try your best to not take things personally. Again, take the matter into your hands and let go of it.
