Study: Constructive conflict resolution by dads reduces kids' distress
When it comes to conflicts in marriage, things can get messy, especially when children are involved. Parents, whether consciously or not, might unintentionally pass their anger or frustration onto their kids, causing emotional distress. However, a recent study from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign sheds light on how parents, especially fathers, handle these disputes and can make a world of difference for their children.
What's more important is how people deal with conflicts
Lead author Qiujie Gong says, "In the past, marital conflict has always been considered a negative thing in reference to various aspects of child development. But what's more important than having conflict is how people deal with it." Gong's study examined whether constructive conflict resolution could buffer some of the negative influence of marital conflict on parenting practices.
Here's why authors focused on fathers in their study
Research indicates that conflicts between fathers and children can have a stronger impact on kids' development than conflicts with mothers. That's why the authors chose to focus on fathers in their study. "We wanted to pay more attention to fathers, because while mothers have always been considered the main caregiver, fathers can also significantly influence children's development," Gong said.
Bad conflict resolution leads to decreased socioemotional skills in children
In the study involving 3,955 heterosexual families with resident fathers, researchers examined the impact of marital conflict on parenting dynamics. The findings revealed that when fathers experienced higher levels of marital conflict, it heightened their parenting stress and reduced their warmth towards their children. Consequently, these factors were associated with decreased socioemotional skills in children as reported by mothers in the surveys.
Constructive fathers led to more positive child development
"We found fathers who reported using more constructive conflict resolution, like open communication and reaching compromise, as opposed to hitting, criticizing, throwing things, showed more involvement and warmth toward their kids, compared to their counterparts," Gong said. "Fathers using constructive conflict resolution led to more parental involvement, which led to more positive child development," said co-author Kramer adding that destructive conflict affects kids negatively.
Conflict is not inherently negative within a marriage
It can help solve problems and make things fairer. Concluding her study, Gong emphasizes that parents should not avoid conflict altogether. Rather, the key lies in discovering constructive resolution strategies that reduce stress and allow fathers to maintain warm interactions with their children.
Women resort to criticism, men to stonewalling during conflicts
Another study conducted by the US Department of Health and Human Services found that women often resort to criticism during conflicts, while men are more prone to stonewalling. However, the study highlighted that fathers who can remain calm, communicate without defensiveness, acknowledge their partner's concerns, and address issues raised by their partner are more likely to have positive relationships with their spouse and children.
