Being in love and loving someone are not the same
What's the story
When it comes to matters of the heart, it's crucial to differentiate between loving someone and being in love with them.
While these two emotions can often feel equally intense, they manifest in distinct ways. Recognizing these differences is essential for building healthy and lasting relationships.
Let's understand the subtle yet significant contrasts between loving someone and being in love.
Choice
Loving someone is a choice
Loving someone is a conscious decision that involves actively choosing to appreciate their qualities, offer unwavering support, and commit to being a dedicated partner.
In contrast, being in love is not a choice, it is an intense emotion that arises spontaneously and uncontrollably.
This distinction underscores the significance of the element of choice in fostering and sustaining meaningful relationships.
Freedom
Possessiveness v/s independence
Being in love often leads to possessiveness, making you feel jealous and unwilling to let your partner out of your sight.
In contrast, loving someone entails recognizing and respecting their independence and trusting in their commitment to the relationship.
It's about allowing your partner the freedom they need while maintaining a healthy connection based on trust.
Urgency
The urgency of being in love
Being in love can feel urgent, chaotic, and overwhelming, often causing your heart to race, your thoughts to scatter, and your concentration to waver.
Conversely, loving someone is more calm and settled, providing a sense of security that allows you to breathe easily.
This contrast highlights the distinction between emotional intensity and the stability that love can bring to a relationship.
Security
Space and security
Loving someone you feel secure enough not to demand your partner's attention 24/7. In the initial stages of being in love, you might become desperate for constant attention.
However, true love allows for personal space and trust, emphasizing the importance of individual growth within the relationship.
It recognizes that a strong relationship can coexist with individual freedom, nurturing a deeper bond.
Intimacy
Intimacy beyond infatuation
Being in love can lead to an intense desire for physical intimacy 24/7, but love goes beyond the initial infatuation.
It emphasizes the importance of maintaining an emotional and physical connection, even when the initial passion subsides.
This underlines the idea that love, as opposed to infatuation, extends beyond the intense initial phase, focusing on the longevity and depth of a relationship.
Expert
What experts have to say
According to relationship expert Nisha JamVwal, love is about intense romance, passion, and an urgency that makes you want to be the best version of yourself for the one you're "in love with."
"In contrast, loving someone is a more composed state, focusing on caring, kindness, and a relaxed frame of mind, emphasizing friendship, laughter, and genuine connection, rather than overwhelming intensity," she clarified.