Former Miss USA's posthumous memoir details heartbreaking 'battle with depression'
Cheslie Kryst, the 2019 Miss USA winner and Emmy-nominated correspondent for Extra, was known for her public achievements. However, her posthumously published memoir reveals a private battle with "high-functioning depression." Despite holding a law degree and an MBA, Kryst fought with a persistent sense of not belonging and an inner voice whispering she was "never enough." She died due to suicide on January 30, 2022, just three months shy of her 31st birthday.
Why does this story matter?
Titled By the Time You Read This: The Space Between Cheslie's Smile and Mental Illness, the memoir will hit shelves on Tuesday (local time). It was co-authored by Kryst's mother, April Simpkins. Per reports, Simpkins was aware of her daughter's mental health struggles. In a note left behind, Kryst implored her mother to "fulfill a final wish: to ensure the publication of the memoir." Simpkins honored this request, which also details Simpkins's journey through grief and loss.
Kryst faced backlash after being crowned Miss USA at 28
Per PEOPLE, Kryst's memoir reveals the backlash she faced after being crowned Miss USA at age 28—then the oldest Miss USA winner. "Just hours after my win, I had to delete vomit-face emojis that a few accounts had plastered all over the comments on my Instagram page. More than one person messaged me telling me to kill myself." "All of this only added to my long-standing insecurities—the feeling that everyone around me knew more than I did (imposter syndrome)."
When Simpkins received a message from Kryst on January 30
On January 30, 2022, Simpkins received a devastating text message from her daughter expressing her intent to end her life. "'By the time you get this, I won't be alive anymore, and it makes me even more sad to write this because I know it will hurt you the most...' My brain couldn't register the words on the screen. I read them again and screamed from a place in my soul that I didn't know existed," Simpkins penned.
'Depression tried to rob her of joy...'
"At Kryst's funeral, I kept thinking, 'I have to survive this' because my family shouldn't have to bury me this soon after losing Cheslie...If I died, who would tell the world all the incredible things I knew about my baby girl?" Further, the excerpts read: "Despite the many ways depression tried to rob her of joy, with near-constant headaches, loneliness, hopelessness, sadness, and a feeling of unworthiness, she still found a way to smile, love, and give."
