'Jewel Thief' review: Saif-Jaideep's lifeless film tests your patience
What's the story
Do you ever watch a film that gives you a slight headache and leaves you wondering, "What did I just watch?"
Jewel Thief, released on Netflix on Friday, is exactly that kind of movie.
Headlined by Jaideep Ahlawat and Saif Ali Khan, this vapid, unentertaining film will bore you to death.
It's directed by Kookie Gulati and Robbie Grewal.
Story
A thief, a mobster, and a sparkling diamond
Jewel Thief follows Rehan, played by Khan, a slick, suave, and smart thief, who's ridiculously good at his job.
He is hired by a gangster named Rajan Aulakh (Ahlawat) to steal the coveted Red Sun—a sparkling diamond described as "Africa's kohinoor and pride"—for him.
Will Rehan finish the job, or does he have another plan in mind?
#1
No logic, no entertainment, no fun
Jewel Thief starts well, introducing us to Ahlawat's conniving character in style, and moves to the central heist track.
However, despite good actors and a serviceable premise, Jewel Thief is absolutely unable to make anything out of the plot.
The pace is jarring, and the twists (if you can call them that) are senseless.
Plus, if you're looking for logic, the joke's on you.
#2
It's a struggle to stay with the film
Initially, Jewel Thief teases you with its potential, but then goes south so quickly that there is hardly any redeemable aspect left.
Sure, the actors try their best to uplift the material, but the film is so flat, tedious, and burned out that there isn't much that can be done to make it watchable.
A lifeless film that tests your patience.
#3
Supporting characters are purely an afterthought
Expecting something great out of at least Kunal Kapoor's character? Cremate those hopes.
He plays a cop, and his character is so poorly written and mired in clichéd tropes that he is reduced to a forgettable, laughable caricature.
Nikita Dutta (34) plays Farah, Rajan's wife, but her character is forgettable and even unnecessary.
Plus, her romance with Khan (54) looks jarring.
#4
Wastes the opportunity to be amusing and funny
Seemingly important words like "state of the art technology," "Silicon Valley," and "system mainframe" are thrown around, but eventually, they amount to nothing.
Ridiculous films can be great fun, and not everything needs to be armed with logic, but Jewel Thief doesn't have the goofy charm it thinks it does.
The dialogues are corny, the characters all too familiar, and the plot is predictable.
Verdict
'Jewel Thief' is unwatchable; 1/5 stars
Netflix India has earned the unwanted reputation of backing several middling films (Do Patti, Mrs. Serial Killer, The Archies, etc.), and Jewel Thief has now joined this list.
Nothing apart from the locations and the actors' sincerity works, and the awful execution cannot support the movie's high ambition.
Don't go near this damp squib of a film.
1/5 stars.