Irrfan reveals what went through his mind while battling cancer
For an actor, who was in his prime, to be diagnosed with a type of cancer as rare as Neuroendocrine Tumour would have stirred a lot of emotions. The rude shock that came Irrfan Khan's way was heartbreaking for him, his family and his fans alike. Currently in London for treatment, Irrfan has penned an emotional letter on his battle with the disease.
When he found out about his disease
Recalling the time when he learned that he has Neuroendocrine Tumour, Irrfan admits that he was shocked, afraid and in panic. "This new name in my vocabulary, I got to know, was rare, and due to fewer study cases, and less information comparatively, the unpredictability of the treatment was more. I was part of a trial-and-error game," he wrote.
Irrfan describes his battle philosophically
He says, "I was traveling on a speedy train ride, had dreams, plans, aspirations, goals, was fully engaged in them. And suddenly someone taps on my shoulder and I turn to see. It's the TC: Your destination is about to come."
He didn't want fear and panic to overrule him
Further, Irrfan wrote that he did not want to face the crisis in a miserable state. But, he could not overcome the fear and panic, at first. "Nothing was working; NO consolation, no motivation. The entire cosmos becomes one at that moment - just PAIN, and pain felt more enormous than GOD," he confessed.
A realization changed his perspective
The 'Hindi Medium' actor revealed it was the peculiarity of his hospital's location that hit him hard. He said, "I realized my hospital was on the opposite side of Lord's, the stadium. The Mecca of my childhood dream," adding, "As if one isn't part of anything which might claim certainty - neither the hospital nor the stadium. That hit me hard."
He eventually acquired a positive mindset
"The concerns took a back seat and started to fade out. For the first time, I felt what 'freedom' truly means. It felt like an accomplishment. As if I was tasting life for the first time, the magical side of it," Irrfan said.
Irrfan is overwhelmed by all the love and support
He wrote, "Throughout my journey, people have been wishing me well, praying for me, from all over the world. People I know, people I don't even know. They were praying from different places, different time zones, and I feel all their prayers become ONE." We wish, hope and pray for his speedy recovery.
